Hello World....Meet Steven!

Geez where do I begin? Have you ever had someone in your life who you just seemed to “get”? Someone who for whatever reason just seems to make sense when everyone else just doesn't “get” him/her? Meet Steven. He is my 5^th of five children. As of this writing, he is 16 years old. He is my last child and while all my children hold some part of me whether in looks, beliefs, mannerisms or more, Steven's obscurity and free will is so beautiful to see since it is a reflection of my own characteristics. Characteristics that go against the grain and which took me a long time to accept. To see them in my son is profound, humbling and downright scary. However at the same time, they're beautiful to see. I can only imagine how my mother felt when I was thinking the same kinds of things that Steven does and how I was trying out life like there was a “reset” button somewhere if things didn't go as planned. My poor mother!

Steven has a gypsy's soul. He likes adventure and is most definitely a risk taker. Gulp! He does not conform to the expectations of society nor is he a follower. He is not a leader either. He simply marches to the beat of his own drum. A metaphor that is most fitting for him due to the fact that his sense of rhythm is amazing. His beatbox talents are the kind that would be sure to go viral if he could get over being shy long enough to allow me to video him. He yearns for a drum set and if I had the money, would get for him in a heartbeat. I really hate to see good talent wasted and his are being wasted. I can only hope that in the near future, I can get him the drum set he wants.

Steven is too smart for his own good. He loves to learn. He enjoys useless knowledge and trivia. As a younger child he would enjoy Children Almanacs, Ripley's Believe it or Not books, books about rocks, stars and the like. Yet even to this day, getting him to do his homework is a struggle. He likes to tinker and discover solutions to mechanical and electrical things. He enjoys taking things apart and reassembling them. He is the one in our family who has hooked up the surround sound, the dvd players, showed me how my own phone works and had discovered ways around his high school's firewalls so he can play games on his computer while in class. He is good at nearly all sports but has no desire to be on a team.

Yet I'd have to say with all these beautiful qualities, my favorite is his sense of humor. Steven has an animated way about him that when combined with his tones, comments and timing, all too many times has diffused a serious moment even to the point of my forgetting what I was scolding him about. One time when I was explaining to him that I had gotten a job and our financial troubles would soon get better, I told him that the “light was at the end of the tunnel.” His response was to get a thoughtful look on his face, stroke his chin and respond “But how long is the tunnel?” I was rolling! Another time a teacher told him (most teachers can't stand Steven btw) that if he were an animal he'd be a jackass. Steven's response was “if you were a body part, you'd be a dick”......BAHAHA!! Okay okay so as a mom I'm not supposed to find that funny but geez my son stood up for himself, refusing to allow the insult of a tyrannical teacher to get the best of him. Instead, he responded with a quick wit, and gave it right back to the teacher. The entire class roared in laughter and the teacher backed off. Yes, Steven is the class clown of all class clowns.

Steven's softness and his perfectly timed compassion when I really need a shoulder is nothing short of amazing. With my health being less that great lately, he sometimes notices when I'm tired and overwhelmed. He wraps his arms around me, tells me he loves me and suggests that I get some sleep. He asks me to tell him what's wrong and listens. Funny huh since most teenagers don't listen.

Steven's grades are awful. Not because he doesnt' understand the work or lessons, but because he has trouble sitting still. He has ADHD and I've decided to not put him on medication. Why? Because when he was on it, he was a zombie. We tried ritalin, concerta, stratera and adderol. The latter had good results, but the doctor kept raising his dosage every few months and informed me that by the time he would be 12, he would be at the maximum dosage allowed. Then what? No one was addressing coping skills. No one was teaching him how to live day to day. Yet all the “experts” were just wanting to have my son popping pills to cope. WTF? How is that coping? So I restricted his diet and removed items from our pantry that were shown to aggravate his condition. I kept a minimalistic home as much as possible to avoid excessive stimuli. Besides it looks cleaner. I talked with him and explained that there wasn't anything wrong with him but he's just a little quirky like the rest of us. This is just his quirk. And so over the years, he continues to learn how to identify when he's “off” and just needs to retreat and wait till he “feels better”. I believe acceptance and understanding are key when knowing Steven. It takes a little extra time. A tiny bit more effort, but in the end, knowing Steven is an honor, having him as a friend is a true gift and having him in my life is a blessing that I thank God for.

Why the tiny baby pics? Because when I was pregnant with Steven, I went into full labor at 24 weeks and was rushed to the hospital. After loading me up with magnesium sulfate and keeping me on my back for four days, a neo natal intensive care pediatrician consulted with me to explain what would happen if he were to be born at that stage of life. He would've had neurological issues, heart issues, brain and mental issues, breathing issues, and the list goes on. They stressed that it was crucial that one parent would have to be present to hold him and touch him every day. And that there was no telling what the long term problems would be. We (drs and I)managed to keep the pregnancy till the 38^th week. So ADHD is nothing compared to how bad it could've been. The picture is of a baby the exact size that Steven would've been had he been born.

Steven has been the most challenging of all my children since infancy, but the rewards make it all worthwhile. All those people who have told me to just be harsher with discipline, to give him medication to dull his spirit so he could conform, who told me that he was bad because he got bored with their inadequate teaching “skills”....all those people were wrong. They were/are wrong in their narrow minded thinking. They're wrong to expect every child to fit in a box. They're wrong to think that all problems are solved with the cutting of a switch (yes he got spanked but some people's advice bordered abuse/control). Every child is different. Each soul is unique and to expect every soul to be molded into someone else's ideal is just unrealistic. It doesn't make someone a rebel or insolent. It simply means that it takes a little more thinking. It takes coming out of your society induced cloud of thinking and to take the time to get to know a really great person. It's been worth every minute.

Steven is not perfect by any means. He has his faults like the rest of us. I don't address them here because he has sheeple remind him daily of his shortcomings and what's the point in that?

He is a wonderful young man, full of life, humor, compassion, talent in addition to his good looks. He is smart, free, a risk taker and has one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known. He is misunderstood by the majority but so were most of the great people in history.

He is Steven. He is my son and it is my honor to be his mother.

I love you Mijo......<3

Celebrating Heather

Yesterday my daughter turned 17. I found myself walking down memory lane, recalling those times in her life which just seemed to stick out more than others. It's been a wonderful and challenging journey. She has grown into a beautiful, free and wise young woman. She is every bit girly complete with an incredible ability to spread her massive collection of “girly things” around the house. But let me back track and start at the beginning.

Heather was born in Buffalo New York only 3 ½ months after we relocated from California. My pregnancy was a difficult one due to the stress of leaving an abusive relationship. This caused me to be in and out of the hospital regularly and to be put on medication to prevent further premature labor. She was born exactly three weeks early after only 2 ½ hours of labor. Even though she met the weight requirements to come home, she was still the smallest of all my children and had health issues right away. She eventually outgrew them. Even today I call her my “sick baby” simply because whenever she gets sick, she gets it worse than everyone else. If I have a 2 day flu, she gets it for a week. If her brother gets a 101 fever, hers is 103 and so on.

Heather's energy is lightweight, fresh, soft and a little fragile like a cool breeze in the morning when there is still dew on the ground. If I had to pick a color for her soul, it would be pink. So it does not surprise me that her favorite color is pink. I see her a soft pale pink, she prefers a brighter, stronger hue. I think the difference is due to my seeing all her frailties and her finding her strength. Either way, it's beautiful.

My daughter has the rare and beautiful ability to verbalize that which most of us cannot put into words. She can see things for how they are and is very wise beyond her years. She can see inside people and reveal hidden feelings, motives, strengths and weaknesses. Whether you want to call it the Gift of Knowledge and Wisdom or Clairvoyance.....it's beautiful.

Heather's creativity is just another of her many God given talents. In her early years, she won numerous art contests and had her artwork displayed in the local art museum. Her artwork won first and second place in competitions and has even had her artwork chosen to represent the postcard that was sent out to residents from the local Boys & Girls Club. That same artwork was framed and displayed in the Governor's office. There were many times she would get into my crafting notions and either embellish her clothing or make jewelry to wear with an outfit. As frustrating as it was to find my carefully organized items gone through, the end results were not less than amazing. Today, she channels her creativity into makeup and hairstyling. She is not afraid to experiment with new looks and often tests out her new looks at school.

While Heather is kind, compassionate and gentle, she is by no means a sucker to charm or smooth talking. She opens her heart to those who struggle and offers a helping hand whenever possible. She is also aware of the condition of our precious planet and does her part in protecting it. This can be from standing by someone's side while going through rehab, offering a caring shoulder and attentive ear to someone hurting and even going to her knees in prayer for someone who perhaps wouldn't be getting prayed for. Her benevolent spirit causes those who see it to look within themselves and makes them want to be a better, kinder and gentler person as well.

Is she perfect? Of course not. But why focus on the negative when there is SOOO much positive. She is a beautiful soul. An amazingly wise soul. She is softness in a harsh world. She is kindness in a selfish world. She is sunshine in a gray world. Her presence brings a smile to your face. In fact, I wanted her to always know how my spirit felt with her in my life, that I gave her the middle name of Victoria. She is my daughter and it is my honor to be her mother.

I love you Heather. Happy Birthday.

God Bless,

Mom

Never Say Never......

I had a close call this month. And the more I reflect on how this situation could possibly happen to me, the more I realize that this recession is simply kicking a lot of us in the butt.

As it turns out I find myself staring homelessness in the face never knowing if I'll have a place to stay from week to week. So far, I've managed to survive 6 weeks since my roommate took the rent money and left me with overdue utilities and a 5 day or quit notice. It has been intense to say the least. However, I've managed to get two part time jobs and a roommate to help me try to stay afloat. We'll have to see.

But in the meantime, I keep my eyes open for affordable housing just in case. And of course I have my favorite property management company Scottsdale Fine Properties conveniently bookmarked on my computer. I can peruse their website in search of luxury homes as well as nicer apartments and more. They can work quickly and I know will help me transition into a new to me home, should I need their services. It's a little comforting knowing they'll take are of me.

But for now, I take things one week at a time until my situation turns around financially. I am quickly learning the art of negotiation and barter. And it is fast becoming more and more pleasant. Perhaps the “thrill of the hunt?” Who knows? Aside from the finances, we're fed, warm, healthy, safe, dry and most of all loved. We will survive even if we do end up losing our home. Yet it still hurts knowing that I'm so close to losing something that I put so much money and effort into.

However amidst all the craziness, I keep certain values and principals in place, trying to make a warm and safe home for my children while still trying to help others who may be in the same boat as I am, even if it is only for this week. I still am decorating for Christmas and doing all the things people do in their homes. But this never knowing if I'll be able to come up with rent haunts me much in the same way a dull ache in the knee never quite lets you forget that it's there.

I find my faith shaken as I bundle up due to not having heat in my home. I try not to be angry nor bitter at my ex roommate while we bathe in cold water and hand wash our clothing in the bathtub. And I've missed a week of work due to car problems that prevent me from getting there. The same job I've had for only a week. The car problems are easy fixes and I will spend the next few days on threads and forums looking for ways to possibly repair it myself and hopefully save my job.

Yes, my faith is shaken indeed.

Please pray.

God Bless....sigh

Decorating With The Color Aqua

It seems that in addition to purples and lavenders being this year's hottest decorating colors, aqua has come back full swing. This soothing cross between blue and green was very popular in the 1950's and was found in painted walls, textiles and even heavier furniture pieces. But like many trends, the obsession with the color aqua didn't stop there. It was found on cars, clothing and on pretty much anything that had a color.

Today, decorating with the color aqua is a little different than it was back in the day. As you can see in the photos, a little goes a long way. Aqua can be used as an accent color to add a touch of softness as in the white bathroom pictured on the right. If you're going to use aqua on the walls, try painting a focal wall first before painting the entire room. Then accent with pillows or vases to bring the color throughout the room. If you feel you would like to add more color, you can always paint more walls starting with the wall opposite the focal wall. If a more modern look is your style, you'll be happy to know that aqua works very well with black or chocolate brown. In fact, there is blog dedicated to the color combination of aqua and brown. It's called Chocolate Blues. But aqua isn't just for modern décor. It works well with cottage and shabby chic themed design as well as luxury or glamorous décor as well.

Another upside of decorating with aqua is that it is a lighter color and reflects light rather well. This means that it will work well with very small rooms and tight spaces. To create the illusion of even more space along with luxury, try using the color aqua with mirrored surfaces and silver items. The effect is stunning! For a fresh mix of color add touches of salmon or melon. The possibilities are numerous.

Proper lighting as I've said so many times before is key when decorating. The wrong lighting fixtures or bulbs can make all the difference between a cold, sterile environment and a welcoming and cozy home. And when decorating with specific colors, great lighting is essential. When looking for lighting be sure to take a look at my favorite lighting store Premier Lighting at shoppremier.com. They have everything you can imagine for any of your lighting needs. The prices are very reasonable, the people know their stuff and they ship almost everywhere!

So you have your awesome aqua décor. Soothing, calming and soooo relaxing. You have your amazing lighting creating the moooood. Now all you need is something cozy to curl up on and either a remote, a book, a drink or whatever you prefer. But for now, take a look at the pics for some ideas.

God Bless
DeAnna

It's All About The Lighting

When it comes to setting the mood in a home, one of the key elements is lighting. You can have the perfect shade of paint, the best furnishings and all the best home décor. But when it comes down to it, lighting can make all the difference between a cold, harsh environment or a welcoming and soothing home.

If your home doesn't have a lot of windows, try placing mirrors strategically, to reflect the natural light that is available. A collection of mirrors (such as antique) can create a collage effect, with movement and of course, natural light. One large mirror can not only bring in a lot of natural light, but can also help in making a small room appear larger. To avoid a “sterile” look, try draping the frame with a flowered vine or even a fringed shawl. TIP: If you decide to use mirrors to bring in natural light, try NOT to put them directly opposite doorways. Some consider it bad chi which simply means the energy that is meant to be brought in and flowed throughout the area, will be immediately repelled back out.

In addition to mirrors, natural lighting can be reflected by placing reflective items throughout the room. This keeps energy flowing which is great for chi. Silver and chrome are ideal, but other metallic surfaces work well too. Items such as vases, picture frames, and sculptures reflect light and add a bit of glamor as well.

But what happens when the sun goes down? How do you create a homey environment without natural lighting? Artificial lighting of course! And while pretty much everyone has it, how it's used takes a little more planning. I use fluorescent lighting throughout most of my home. This has saved a LOT of money on the power bill but I was faced with the challenge of that harsh “office” feel. To create the warmth of tungsten lighting I changed my lampshades to a warm gold or other color that was complimentary to the room's theme. The glow that is cast is warm and soothing not to mention welcoming.

Lampshades aren't the only way to counter the harsh lighting of florescent lighting. If you have glass overhead globes, replace them with slightly creamy colored ones. There are even florescent bulbs that work with dimmers. For the bathroom, vanity bulbs are available frosted which makes the lighting just perfect for applying makeup. If you're in the market for lighting or anything that has to do with lighting, stop in and say hi to my friends at shoppremier.com. They are the end all and be all of lighting. From fixtures, to bulbs, to accessories, to parts, they have it. Everyone treats you like family and they're all pretty knowledgeable about lighting. If you'd rather shop in person, they have locations in Glendale, Tucson, Phoenix and they just opened a new store in Scottsdale. Stop by, check out their website or call.

Anyway, as usual, Ive included some pics. Hope you like them.

God Bless,
DeAnna

Scottsdale- Arizona's Beverly Hills

Scottsdale Arizona. Perhaps you've heard of it, perhaps you haven't. But for those looking to get away from cold, humidity and overcrowding, Scottsdale is the place to live. Known by many as the “Beverly Hills of Arizona”, this growing community boasts world class golf courses, excellent schools, amazing art galleries, exceptional dining and of course, luxurious living. It's no wonder why many celebrities such as Danica Patrick, Wayne Gretzky, Lou Rawls and dozens of others have chosen Scottsdale as their home town.

And if you think about it, this is the best time to relocate. With the economy being less than great, screaming deals can be made on luxury real estate. Are the prices still a bit too steep? Well, there are tons of high end properties available in other areas in Phoenix and surrounding areas. Many of these homes have a lot of upgrades, are in great neighborhoods. With an average of only 2 weeks of rain per year, Arizona is the perfect place to call home.

When you're ready to start looking, or even if you're just considering moving, check out ScottsdaleFineProperties.com They're a fabulous real estate team who specialize in luxury estates and relocation services and still cater to the average family who simply wants to be treated like royalty. They have decades of experience and can help you get into your dream home as seamlessly as possible. They've been featured in magazines and have even won several awards.

So just what does the Scottsdale and Phoenix area have in regards to entertainment and activities? Well for the outdoor enthusiast, there is hiking, camping, and a variety of lake activities. For those who enjoy city life, there is fine dining, world class golfing, art galleries, shopping, night clubs, concerts and theater. For those who love sports, we have the Arizona Cardinals, Diamondbacks and Suns. Winter skiing is only a little over an hour away. With so much to do and with such wonderful weather, perhaps you can understand why I chose to make the Phoenix area my home.

It's All About Purple

The Color Purple. Aside from being a wonderful movie, the color was once a symbol of royalty and status. For thousands of years, only the elite could afford purple fabric to wear. And for ions, flags bearing the crests of kings were proudly displayed. And in 2010, it is the hottest color for interior design.

In my research, and with this season's hottest decor trend colors being soothing lavenders and comforting plums, I came across a LOT of interior designs using various shades of purple. Quite honestly, so many of them were just amazing. There really is no limit where interior design is concerned and this year, purple has sparked the creativity of so many wonderful designers. This has taken design and décor to new levels.

However, actually using the color purple used to tighten the gut of even the most experienced of traditionalists. But rest assured, that it really isn't difficult at all. If however, you are still a bit leery using purple, there are several things you can do to update your home décor without completely remodeling. Try using neutral colors for walls and on larger pieces of furniture, then add purple accessories. This could easily be done by adding throw pillows, pictures, draperies or vases. This way if you want to change your décor in a year or two, it's very easy to do. If you're feeling a little more daring, try painting one wall. Painting even one wall can make a big difference in a room. Complete the look by adding the accessories.

As with most décor, it truly is about color and mood. If you happen to look at examples online, you'll notice that there are several different looks. Some are more formal, some are modern. Some of the examples have just a touch of purple, while others are completely saturated. Ask yourself what you feel when you view each picture. Does it appear relaxing? Is it playful? Perhaps it seems moody, or maybe luxurious? But the most important question to ask yourself is “What mood do I want to create in this room for myself, family and visitors?” These are questions that should help you to determine which hue would be best for you. For instance, if you are looking for a soothing environment, electric purple on all four walls would most likely not be recommended. However, a muted plum on a focal wall with complimentary accessories may be better suited.

So if you're looking to update your décor in this season's latest trend, consider various shades of purple. It's a wonderful change outside the interior decorating box and it's very suitable for any room inside or outside the house.